Being 46, but feeling 13…Back in the Saddle.

About a year ago, I got back in the saddle and got serious about riding again after being away for a really long time… maybe 15 years.

Mostly it been a whole lot of fun…I love to ride and really enjoyed it when I was much younger and I still do… but it's a lot different riding as a grown up mom than it was in years gone past. 

And by different, I mean very, very, humbling to body and brain..  

This weekend the girls and I went to a show, and the boys were not exactly thrilled to spend the day watching their mom and sisters ride around in circles, but I made them come anyway and Jamie took these photos. 

There aren't many things that you can do when you are 46 that make you feel exactly like you did when you were a 13 years old, but for me riding is one of them. 

Jamie took this photo of me as I was on course and I look just how I felt… really nervous and also kind of barfy.

I had just made a whole slew of mistakes and was really mad at myself for making bad decisions and messing up. 

This is the not so fun part of feeling like your 13 again. 

Lyle looks pretty annoyed too and cranky with his ears back.

I have relearned that riding, like most good things in life, is all about balance and rhythm… keeping the same consistent pace and having enough momentum to get the job done, but not so much speed that you are out of control. 

A little luck and some happy zen are helpful also… this is the cool part of feeling 13ish.  

I am really impressed that Jamie got an over the jump photo of us, and I am most proud of being square in the middle of the fence, that doesn't come easy to either one of us.    

Here, Lyle and I are having an argument. 

He wanted to go super fast and I thought that was a pretty lousy idea but couldn't do much about it. 

Lyle thought that was HILARIOUS that would even try. 

I like that Jamie shot it going downhill fast, because that's exactly what was going on.  

Jess Jurkowitz is a extremely talented rider and by far the most patient and understanding trainer in the world. 

There is something really terrific about having a teacher that you 100% trust and is able to lend you enough confidence to reach your goals. Even if I'm a little (or a lot) nervous of doing a particular exercise, I know she wouldn't ask me to do anything beyond my capability. And again, I often find myself feeling middle school-ish… a little scared but happy to have a good teacher on my side. 

Jamie thought this was a cool photo of Lyle and I cantering through the smoke from the lunch tent grill while warming up.
Cheeseburger smoke makes watching your mom canter in circles far more dramatic and exciting.     

I like that he captured the essence of Lyle's butt and his cute little toes, while leaving mine out of the picture.
My son has great photographic skills. 

And then he took a selfie which is an expression of how he felt at that moment.

And also one of his brother… Henry was pretty bored by the experience as well. 

And this is me when I really was 13 years old.
And I find that the grown up me is still trying to do the same… looking for a steady balance, counting out the rhythm and then holding on tight.